‘Twas the Day Before Pesach
'Twas the day before Pesach, and all
through the shul,
Not a rabbi was stirring, they were at
Hebrew school;
In the basement below that my zayde had
leased,
My bubbe and tante set a Passover
feast.
The yids were all coming! There’s
aunt Jo and aunt Sophie,
Then Zelda schlepped in with her mensch,
such a trophy.
Cousin Ann couldn’t make it because
of a job,
When she started to dress, her nose
started to throb.
My sister is making the matzo ball
soup,
About fifteen quarts to feed this large
group.
Then to the bank, I fly in a flash,
To finance this simcha, we needed more
cash!
The herbs and the bitters were put by
the sink;
The gefilte fish Jo brought had started
to stink.
Shari was gagging until she would
wretch
Then she started complaining, oy vey,
what a kvetch.
Aunt Margie said Milty, the family
sinner,
Had chutzpah by bringing a shiksa to
dinner.
Uncle Brucey is dancing and doing his
schtick,
While cussing in Yiddish and twirling
his stick.
The sun’s going down and it’s time
for the Seder,
But Murry’s not here, is he coming
later?
Then there’s a clatter outside of the
door,
And out of a Caddy steps Murray and
four.
Now Shlomo, now Moisha, now Sara, now
Irv,
Der tate oysn oyg, stepping off of the
curve;
Shlomo has macaroons, Mo’s in magenta,
Sara “the kibitz”– she’s such a
yenta.
Then there is Murry, a jolly soul he,
Twinkling eyes and plump as can be;
He had a round face and a belly that
shook,
Mogen David in one hand and the other, a
Nook.
He sat at the table and started to
read.
The Nook was in Hebrew, “now follow
my lead.”
A modernized Jew, I think it’s an
omen,
But where has he hidden this year’s
Afikomen?
“The meshugganah pharaoh would not
let us leave,
Then God told old Moses he had to
believe;
So ten plagues were given the ancient
Egyptians.”
Mazel tov Moses
for your Bible inscriptions!
We pray and we eat the unleavened
breads,
With kosher tradition embossed in our
heads.
Then he made a toast, as he took his
last bite:
"L’chaim to all, and to all a good
night!"
GLOSSARY:
Afikomen: a piece of matzo that's traditionally hidden
bubbe: grandma
Caddy: Cadillac
chutzpah: a lot of nerve
"Der tate oysn oyg": Just like his father
gefilte fish: a jellied type of fish
kibitz: gossip
kosher: adhering to Jewish culinary laws
"L'chaim": "To life" (good wishes for well-being)
matzo: unleavened bread
Mazel tov: an expression of congratulations
mensch: a decent and honorable person
meshugganah: off-kilter or crazy
Mogen David: Star of David
"oy vey,
what a kvetch": "woe is me, what a complainer"
Pesach: Passover
schlepped: dragged
schtick: an attention-getting gimmick or act
Seder: ceremonial Passover dinner
shiksa: a derogatory term for a non-Jewish female
shul: Jewish temple
simcha: celebration
tante: aunt
yenta: a woman who is a gossip or busybody
yid: slang for a Yiddish person
zayde: grandpa
Tamera Will Wissinger has challenged us to come up with a parody or tribute poem this month. (Click
HERE
for details.) If you would like to join in the fun, send your poem to
TodaysLittleDitty (at) gmail (dot) com or use the contact form in the
sidebar to the right.
 |
All participants will be rounded up on July 25th
and entered to win a copy of Tamera's delightful new picture book,
THIS OLD BAND. |
