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| [K]ua |
INSTRUCTIONS FOR MY MIRROR
Love what you see
Be patient and kind
Keep expectations in check
Reflect my best self
Reject my objections
Cast no doubt or shadow
Focus my light
Frame my true beauty
Remind me that I am enough
© 2019 Michelle Heidenrich Barnes. All rights reserved.
This poem does not give instructions to just any mirror, I wanted the poem to be in the voice of a struggling teenager addressing their own mirror. It was inspired by my daughter Miranda's Girl Scout gold award project, "The True Face of Teenage Beauty"—a photography-based project dedicated to increasing awareness of the inaccurate media representation of teens.
As a parent of one of the most beautiful creatures on the planet, it's rather shocking when your daughter responds to the interview question, "Why do you feel like you need/want to do something like this project?" with this:
To put it simply, it’s because I’m a teenager,
and my friends and I hate ourselves.
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| Gioia De Antoniis |
When I think back on my own pressure cooker years, I, too, remember the need to look perfect, to do everything right, to become an individual while still trying to fit in. At some level I still struggle with self-esteem issues, though at this stage of my life it's probably got more to do with my own expectations than society's expectations of me. I don't know. It's all pretty confusing.
What's not confusing, however, is my determination to help Miranda get the word out about this cause that is so near and dear to her own heart. If you have (or know) a teenager, would you please share Miranda's website with them?
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| https://mbarnes03.wixsite.com/teenagebeauty |
She has a nifty slider app on her About page that perfectly demonstrates the impossible standards of media misrepresentation, as well as an eye-opening Profiles page, and an excellent Gallery of teenage portraits. Miranda would love help in spreading the word about her project. If at all possible, ask the teens you know to get involved—to send in a photo and/or message with their thoughts on the topic so that Miranda can publish them on the site.
Is it only media representation that makes teenagers feel "ugly" or "invisible"? As adults (parents, educators, etc), what can we do to help?
MARGARET SIMON
Congratulations, Margaret!
Wise words to pass on from your poem Michelle, and "Cast no doubt or shadow"
ReplyDeletethat's a tough one to stay clear of. Please send my thanks to MIranda for the good work she's producing and experiencing from her blog.
Will do, Michelle. :)
DeleteMichelle, your daughter's project should reach young teen's to impact their thinking on self-esteem. I commend her for her work, her leaderships skills garnered during her years of Girl Scouts. I know you are a very proud mother. I just tweeted out the project and will send a notice about the interview. The last stanza of your poem is powerful. I am glad that I took the time to read through Miranda's website because your words hold so much weight in light of your daughter's cause.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Carol! I AM proud. And I'm glad the connection between the poem and Miranda's site and interview came through for you. I really wanted this poem to reflect them in an honest way.
DeleteOh, thank you for this, Michelle. I love it. It's not just teenagers who doubt themselves, most of us do in some way. As my HS 50th reunion approaches, I find myself being more self-critical regarding general appearance. At least I am becoming better at accepting myself in other ways. Love you! Judi
ReplyDeleteLove you, too, Judi. You'll always be beautiful in my eyes.
DeleteYour mirror is one that many of us need to have Michelle. The work your daughter is doing is very important. I can imagine how proud you are of her.
ReplyDeleteI just returned from a long weekend away with women friends. We were all friends in our late teens and early 20's and started getting together once a year over 30 years ago. We have photograph albums that capture each time. This year as I went through them I realized how beautiful we all were, even though at that time, we saw ourselves as to fat, to thin, and not attractive enough. It's sad that we are still finding fault. Here I am at 65, resolving to love and accept myself as I am.
Your words ring so true to me, Cheriee. It's such a common experience for women to be hard on themselves, myself included! I AM proud of Miranda. I can only hope that she'll grow up with fewer hang-ups than the generations that came before.
DeleteI wish every young (and old!) person had that mirror, Michelle - thanks for sharing. What a special young person you raised, and thanks to Miranda for raising awareness and sending light out into the world. It's a tough one this generation has to make their way in, but they inspire. XO
ReplyDeleteThey do inspire, Robyn! Thank goodness the future is in their capable hands. I'm just sorry we've made things so difficult for them.
DeleteThanks for the insightful poem and for sharing Miranda's fab project. You have certainly raised a person who's beautiful inside and out. I remember how hard it was to be a teen -- the self doubt, self consciousness, the peer pressure, everything -- and this was before social media! It must be a hundred times harder for today's teens to cope with all that "perfection" coming at them ad infinitum 24/7. Kudos to her for keeping it real.
ReplyDeleteP.S. Love the teddy bear photo.
Thank you so much for those words, Jama. I let Miranda choose between a couple of different photos for the top of the post, but the teddy was a no brainer as far as she was concerned! Teddy bear love runs in the family for three generations, but I'm sure I don't have to explain that kind of devotion to you! :D
DeleteI love Miranda's project, and love that your poem supports it. It's so hard for a teen (and an adult!) to practice self-love and to remember that they are enough. I'm glad Miranda has you in her court (and how wise to accept that she feels what she feels. That's something I struggle to remember with my adult kids.)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Buffy. My head understands that I need to accept what she feels, but my heart, not so much. It's definitely not an easy pill to swallow.
DeleteThese are perfect instructions for every mirror. I'm so impressed by Miranda's project. Your poem is a lovely response.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Liz. And thanks for your help along the way to this final draft!
DeleteI like your thoughtful selection of a mirror as an object. There are multiple layers of meaning and instruction that you can write about. But, your simple and direct lines were just perfect. I love it.
ReplyDeleteYeah, some of the early drafts were a bit more confusing because you couldn't tell if I was talking to the mirror or the person in the mirror. I really appreciate knowing that you think the poem is successful, Linda!
DeleteThis is beautiful. Thanks for sharing it. It's an essential reminder to all of us.
ReplyDeleteThank you for dropping by and leaving a comment, Gabriele.
DeleteWonderful poem. "Remind me that I am enough" That is such an important thing for us to remind young people of. Great job.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Rosi. I still need that reminder! Perfection is just not an option.
DeleteYay for mirrors that "Frame my true beauty"! I think social media really does make feeling self-conscious quite a bit worse. Glad Miranda is taking action on the subject! Good for her and for her supportive mom.
ReplyDeleteThanks, T!
DeleteThe truth in your words is truly beautiful. Love this, Michelle.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Kimberly.
DeleteYour poem resonates across the age spectrum, Michelle. "Remind me that I am enough" - beautiful and necessary! And I've passed Miranda's website information on to my 15 y/o daughter and encouraged her to pass it on to her friends here in Switzerland. =)
ReplyDeleteThanks for passing it on, Bridget!
DeleteThank you for this beautiful reminder to "love what you see." Your words are so wise and so important, Michelle. I will share Miranda's amazing project with our middle school teachers, along with your poem.
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate that, Catherine!
DeleteI love your poem and all the work Miranda is doing. Super important. I was secretly relieved that I couldn't go to my HS class reunion this weekend because I am still (STILL!!) holding onto lots of that teen anxiety of not being good enough and not fitting in. I hate that with social media it's just getting worse.
ReplyDeleteI hear you, Mary Lee!
DeleteThis is an interesting form - I would like to try it sometime. As a mother of 4 daughters, your post rings true to me. We are on the other side of those tenuous years with girls, as our youngest is ready to graduate from high school later this week. Miranda's project looks like a great way to spread a very important message.
ReplyDeleteHow exciting for your daughter, Dani — congrats to her! I wonder how you feel about the prospect of an empty nest...?
Delete