Earlier this week I had the pleasure of hosting Linda Baie in Limerick Alley. With grace and gentleness, she bid a final farewell to autumn. If you missed it, please take a moment to read and enjoy.
Winter is now upon us... though some of us more than others. In Florida, we rely on indicators other than fallen leaves and plunging temperatures. Things like the 24-hour Christmas radio stations; the store displays of holiday merchandise; the jam-packed schedule of parties, field trips, and activities; and my personal favorite (ahem), my ever-expanding email inbox. My box runneth over with junk advertisements for Black Friday, Cyber Monday, and all manner of fabricated pre-holiday cheer. My index finger is weak from clicking unsubscribe, and still the onslaught continues. Who needs snow when you have an avalanche of spam to shovel?
Which brings me to today's little ditty: my response to that bottomless pit of paparazzi advertising.
Seduction
It
all began
with
cookies. Now
and
then, you popped up
unexpectedly. It was cute,
you
were sweet, and before long
you
fell into step with my digital footprint.
Just
a fling, I told myself, but you wanted more:
my
time, attention, undying devotion, a credit card number
and
personal security code. And then
it happened. Black Friday.
It
was late. There on my lap in the bedroom, aura glowing, you
told
me I was glamorous, well-to-do, elite, and that XL or XS
didn’t
matter. “2-for-1,” you said, “a limited-time offer.”
So I
gave you my IP address, my credit card, the
works. Who could resist those promises,
now
as empty as my bank account?
For
a time I thought we clicked,
but
now I realize I did all
the
clicking. And what
once
was 2-for-1,
is
now just me,
50%
off.
May your month be merry, your shopping simple, and may the beauty of the season surround you. You can start now. Please join hostess Robyn Hood Black at Life on the Deckle Edge, as she celebrates the gifts of Poetry Friday.
Michelle, this poem is hysterical! I love "those promises, now empty as my bank account." Thanks for making me laugh this morning.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laura. Laughter is good-- one day my bank account will realize that. Happy Friday to you!
DeleteFor a time I thought we clicked Fabulous! How long did it take you to format? I'm in awe.
ReplyDeleteDon't be in awe, Diane, but thank you anyway! The formatting was a fortunate stroke of serendipity that came as an afterthought. I spent a fair amount of time yesterday writing a few different drafts. Once I got something that I thought was close, I began wordsmithing it to death, but something still didn't "feel right." By yesterday evening I was frustrated and thought, let me try formatting it differently to come at it from a fresh perspective. Lo and behold, it virtually fell into place on its own.
DeleteLove it, Michelle. I keep a special email just for making purchases and donations so all my spam can go there, and I still feel overwhelmed.
ReplyDelete"Who needs snow when you have an avalanche of spam to shovel?" -- great line! Maybe it needs its own poem...
Thanks Tabatha. I, too, have tried to compartmentalize using different email accounts, but now I'm losing track with so many accounts to check and too many tabs open on multiple computers. Ugh. Is it any wonder I use an old fashioned pad of paper when I escape to write?
Delete*thunderous applause*
ReplyDeleteBrilliant, Michelle! Alas, I've been seduced too . . . :)
(I'm also in awe of your formatting chops.)
Aw, you're making me blush! Thanks Jama. :)
DeleteThank goodness you made it into something to laugh about, Michelle. Love that ending about thinking you had 'clicked'-resistance is the key! Thanks for the link again, Michelle!
ReplyDeleteGiven a choice, laughter is surely the way to go... though I still wish I didn't have to spend so much time deleting clutter from my life!
DeleteYou make it look effortless! Very well crafted and funny. The stack of paper catalogs continues, too. Thanks for making me laugh!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I could make you laugh, Keri. :) Also, I think you put your finger on why, at first, I was having such a hard time getting to a draft I liked! There are so many angles one can take with this topic, it was difficult to hone it down and rein it in!
DeleteThanks for the laugh, Michellle--this is grand! Love the promises, now as empty as my bank account! Well done.
ReplyDeleteYour kind words are grand as well! Thanks, Buffy. :)
DeleteMichelle, how beautiful! And look at that ultra-seductive snowflake - does the 50% off mean a reduction in weight? Sounds like an appealing bargain indeed. Haha. This is beautifully crafted, Michelle.
ReplyDeleteNever thought of the "50% off" as a reduction in weight--I'm all for that kind of bargain shopping! I intended the 50% off to represent the hole that was left behind when her desires weren't fulfilled... but what do I know? I could be 50% off my rocker! I gladly leave it open to reader interpretation.
DeleteToo true! May be the best one yet. Reminds me of your Greeting Card productions. Wish I had your imagination and your skills.
ReplyDeleteAw, thanks Pops. <3 And you're right, this little ditty most definitely came from the same place as many of my greeting card ideas... it's all about the clever wordplay.
DeleteFun. I love your use of the word click and the list that begins with time and ends with personal security code. Isn't that often how it ends? Happy holidays!
ReplyDeleteSad, but true. You would think with a name like "Black Friday" more people would be wary. Happy holidays to you too, Liz!
DeleteAh, this was so much fun to read! Thank you for finding away to find the fun in the obnoxious.
ReplyDeleteThanks Tara. Sometimes we have to take a step back, don't we?
DeleteLove, love, LOVE this! So funny! So true.
ReplyDelete"you fell into step with my digital footprint" = EEK!
So glad you enjoyed this one, Mary Lee! Cyber stalker rehab is on Wednesday nights. ;)
DeleteOh, that deceptive glowing aura - LOVED this poem, Michelle! And, yes, I could relate too... ;0)
ReplyDeleteSometimes I try to think back on my life before Internet addiction... seems so long ago! Thanks for your nice comment, Robyn.
DeleteThis is great!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ruth :)
Delete