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| "Surrender" by Jess |
Hello friends.
I wasn't expecting to post this week, but it's been quite a momentous one, hasn't it?
When my daughter was home for the holidays, she asked if I had chosen a One Little Word for this year. Until she mentioned it, I hadn't given any thought at all to a guiding word for 2021. I've hardly been in that frame of mind. As it was, I completely lost track of my 2020 word until Mary Lee Hahn indirectly reminded me of it with this post around the same time. Funny how that happens. I think my muse, or as Julia Cameron calls it, my inner child, might have something to do with that little coincidence.
“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.”– Julia Cameron
Even though I haven't been writing lately, I have been trying to get back in touch with that inner child (the one that loves creative play and happy accidents) in other ways. For me, the most difficult phase of embarking on a new project are the weeks when I'm walking around in creative limbo. When the ideas have not yet formed in a concrete way and I'm flailing around for something I'm not at all sure is even there. It's uncomfortable at best, this amorphous cloud of confusion.
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| "Confusion" by Erik |
You'd think that if I'm familiar enough to recognize and talk about it, I should be able to trust that it's just part of my creative process, and yet, time and time again, I cower under the dread that I may never again be able to connect with my muse.
Over the last several months I have discovered that life can be confounding in a similar way. Last year I came to a crossroads, and while I'm okay with the direction my life is taking, I am confused by the "new normal." I feel stuck creatively, overwhelmed by my to-do list, and anxious about the not-knowing. Is this, in fact, my new destination or am I still in transition—on my way to some place I've never been before?
Yes, I'm a bit of a control freak. There's no doubt about that. I'm also impatient—especially with myself. But I'm also resilient. I'm determined and I'm a problem-solver. So what if, instead of seeing the future as something to be fearful of, I looked to it with anticipation. Amanda Gorman in her inaugural poem spoke of a nation—our nation—"that isn't broken, but simply unfinished." I take that to heart in my own life as well. My creative process is not broken—I am not broken—I am evolving.
Always say "yes" to the present moment. What could be more futile, more insane, than to create inner resistance to something that already is? What could be more insane than to oppose life itself, which is now and always now? Surrender to what is. Say "yes" to life—and see how life suddenly starts working for you rather than against you.
– Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now
What
if I surrender to the changes in my life and simply trust the
process?
From the Tao Te Ching (chapter 13):
Surrender yourself humbly; then you can be trusted to care for all things.
Love the world as your own self; then you can truly care for all things.
Love the world as your own self; then you can truly care for all things.
– Lao Tzu
Surrender is my One Little Word for 2021. Not in the sense of giving up, giving in, or losing
hope, but in the sense of yielding to the flow of the universe and heeding the whisperings of my
inner child. She's never let me down before.
"Sweet Surrender" by Sarah McLachlan
Wishing you a perfect word to guide you through the next year of your life's journey.
Surrender, that's a deep word, perhaps it will take you in different directions… Like the winding path of this post. Sometimes I think there's more serendipity than we realize that weaves into our life path, thanks for the journey here Michelle.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it will, Michelle. Whatever direction it chooses, I am going to try to be open to it and look for the serendipity. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. <3
DeleteYour question "What if I surrender to the changes in my life and simply trust the process?" touched me. My OLW for this year is "trust." So closely related. Hopefully we will both be guided safely through 2021 with our words.
ReplyDeleteYes, definitely closely related! I hope your journey takes you to rewarding places, Rose.
DeleteSurrendering is HARD, and you are brave to embrace this evolution. Thinking of you! xo
ReplyDeleteThank you, Irene. I read in your post this week that you are also revisiting The Artist's Way. I wish you love and luck on your evolution as well.
DeleteAnd 'she' won't let you down this time, Michelle. I try hard to listen to my inner child, she's a silly one sometimes (thank goodness!). Thank you for sharing your journey to 'surrender'. I know it will lead you where you need to go. Sending you a virtual hug. :)
ReplyDeleteI think my inner child would love to have a play date with your inner child, Bridget. Wouldn't that be fun!
DeleteThis post resonated with me so much. I try to remind myself to "trust the process," but as you said, sometimes it's hard and worrisome. We're all evolving, that's the hallmark of creativity. Something new that wasn't there before. I will think of you and your word "surrender" this year.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jama. It's a comfort knowing my post resonated with you and that I am not alone in my struggle with letting go.
DeleteThis year has brought many of us to some soul searching, lots of home time, no matter the dusting needed of the furniture, dusting off one's goals of who we really are landed on me, too, Michelle. I'm glad you decided to write, to share your own journey. Recently I put up a bird feeder outside my window (a Christmas gift) & no bird came. I have learned patience this year & the net & friends told me it was okay, they would come. Now, as I sit and write to you, chickadees are flourishing & pecking away! Like your 'surrender', I am learning. Thanks for your thoughts!
ReplyDeleteOh Linda, I loved hearing about your chickadees! It's funny you should mention the bird feeder since that's what I recently decided to give myself. :) I will think of you as I patiently wait for the birds to come.
DeleteMichelle, I'm simply not worried about your creative process in the least little bit. I have every confidence in your inner child. Now, when the two of you decide to collaborate and create together...that may be unknown. But, I have every faith and confidence that you are faced forward and moving forward toward a creative project of some kind. Surrender....is a wow word. No fighting? But, I'm so good at that part. Or, at least I think I am. I look forward to your presence in the big vague maker-space between us. Best to you as you take each step.
ReplyDeleteYou crack me up, Linda. "But, I'm so good at that part." Me too, my friend! See you in that big vague maker-space. :)
DeleteHere's to your inner child, my friend. I am excited to see what you and she discover!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Buffy. It's all about the baby steps, right?
DeleteThis is a beautiful post, Michelle. We should talk! After many losses last year, someone finally told me that I needed to take some time off. Like you, I'm finding creative play is refilling the well. Thanks for joining the link up today.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear you're taking care of yourself, Laura.
DeleteYes to accepting the lack of control and having faith...the muse ALWAYS returns. It's a cycle, seasons, the inevitable rejuvenation. xo
ReplyDeleteI think maybe I have more faith in the muse than I do in my ability to recognize that she's knocking and open the door... but I'm getting there. xo
DeleteHello? Hello, is that my twin in the rear-view front-facing mirror of control? I see you, you look like fun, can you come out to play? "Yes, AND," the door to improvisation, walk through!
ReplyDeleteSure! LET'S PLAY! I'm glad to learn that you're doing lots of supportive things for your muse too, Heidi.
DeleteI was so happy to see this post in my mailbox. You have been on my mind, hoping all was well. These have been rough years, and new hope after the election lead to my OLW for 2021, START. I have to admit, I surrendered a few years ago, but it has taken a while to get going again. Peace.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for thinking about me, Kathy. :) I've noticed too, that these things go in cycles. This isn't the first time I've had to relearn habits that used to come more easily. I hope your OLW gets those ideas sparking and the engine revving!
DeleteThanks for sharing your journey to your OLW. There's such faith and strength in your choice. I look forward to seeing where you walk with your inner child.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Molly.
DeleteSurrender is a magical world that captured your heart. Michelle, I wish you sweet surrender to the unfolding of life. I hosted the #K12ArtChat last week and gathered some interesting one words but I must admit that surrender is a word I have never heard before. I look forward to learning more about how surrender interacts with the call of your inner child.
ReplyDeleteMy response to your beautiful world:
universe flows slowly
life winds in, out, and around
yield to whisperings
What a lovely response! Thank you so much for sharing it with me, Carol. xo
DeleteSuch a hard place to be between what was known and what is to come, in all that unknowing. Best wishes and virtual hugs to you as you bravely step forward in faith and surrender. I suspect something wonderful and creative will come from it.
ReplyDeleteThat would... WILL be nice. :) Thank you, Kay.
DeleteI also responded the the world isn't broken, it's unfinished. Those words stood out for me in Gorman's reading of her poem. Surrender is a good word for 2021, surrendering to change with trust along for the ride.
ReplyDeleteLet's hopey the ride will be more of a Sunday drive this year instead of a roller coaster!
DeleteGreat and profound choice for your OLW.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ruth.
DeleteWonderful post. I have felt so frozen during the last year and am just now starting to thaw. I find your idea of surrender very inspiring. Thanks for a great post.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great way to put it, Rosi. I'm with you in the act of thawing.
DeleteThrilled to be a part of your journey toward a powerful OLW. I am on the brink of walking away from the structure my life has had for the past 37 years and it's as terrifying as it is exciting. I'm sure I'll need to chat about being patient and listening to my muse...
ReplyDeleteYes! You are on the brink of a huge change, Mary Lee! But knowing you, I have faith you will manage the transition with grace, creativity, and resourcefulness.
DeleteWe resonate, Michelle! Here is an excerpt from a poem of mine-
ReplyDeleteThere!
It is done.
A white flag is woven on the wind
and my surrender is begun.
That's so comforting to hear, Michele! Thanks so much for sharing those lines. Wishing you a fruitful and loving journey.
Delete
ReplyDeleteTerrific. Say yes, surrender and have a wonderful year.
Thanks, David. Best to you this year, too!
DeleteSurrender is what so many of us need in this uncertain time. To just say yes to this moment of turmoil and indecision. I'm wishing you a productive and powerful 2021 as you surrender to the child within and discover something new and wonderful.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Margaret. I wish the same for you!
DeleteMichelle, I resonate with all your quotations and your own words of this post, especially "Not in the sense of giving up, giving in, or losing hope, but in the sense of yielding to the flow of the universe and heeding the whisperings of my inner child. She's never let me down before." I hear you. Thank you for sharing your heartfelt journey that I have found inspiring. I'm happy you put up a bird feeder! Talking to my birds and my cats, who are not allowed near my feather friends, helps me listen to my inner child. Going outside observing nature being in the moment helps me, too. Maybe these ideas will help you to play with your inner child. You're on the right path. I wish you peace, playfulness, positivity, and power. :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post, Michelle. I haven't picked a word yet (didn't know I needed to.) But your post resonated deeply with me. So I'm off to do some soul searching - once I can get out from under the To-DO-List & What about ME inquiries. Thanks for the impetus to do so.
ReplyDelete